I need PEACE please !!!!!!!!!!!!

Why people around me tends to "meddle" on how I am suppose to handle the thingy?? Why is it so that they feel that I can't let him off so easily? Both of us never expect things will ended up this way. And I trust that he is also not feeling good at all. Everyone is speculating about the reasons. I just know that I still trust him until today. He will NEVER do anything that would hurt me. Well...at least when we were together.........as for now? I don't wanna know anymore.

Although I was angry with him before, but fate seems to end already, so why pursue the matter any further? Vengence will never do anyone good.....Today we chatted over the phone, somehow, I feel he is so pitiful and I know he has lots of struggles.....and I wonder should I be doing that at all! He is living in agony alone, without friends by his side and without God. I felt I m so fortunate that I have friends around me when I am down, I can cry out to God for help and healing. But Who can he turn to???? Knowing him, he would bottled up everything inside. This is his biggest hinderance in his life as he can't managed it any longer by his strength...... I feel really sad to see him living in agony and trying so hard to fulfil the agreement. He is struggling too......

Why is my heart soften again??! He was never "soft" when he said that decision and walked away coldly.........How could I ever forget a 10 yr relationship? We used to be such close friends, share alot of common interests and hobbies, it seems like a fairy tale relationship....God! why it has to be ended this way? Do I have to learn the hard way of life? Do I still love him at all? I really don't know........sigh.........

I don't know why whenever I am sad, I will think of MG. How are u??? I am not fine today.........Sob sob sob........but u will never know.........

Gerry teared again listening to "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx.