Happy Birthday to me! 25 Oct 05

This is the first year that I am celebrating my birthday without Terror and Sam. In fact I was glad that I had a new beginning which is even more impt now. I am very thankful that we had a prayer meeting at church so that I can meet GOD in the prayer meeting, crying out to God, casting all my cares upon him. Thank God man !

I never dreamt that I would ever have so many wonderful friends in my life. Even cong
er also remembered my bday! Sooo Touch! I have been eating so much since 24 Oct -25 Oct. I wonder how much exercise I need to do to burn off the fats! I had chinese food, western food and even japanese food for my birthday celebration! God really bless me much! We had so much laughther on 24 Oct and I get a very nice watch as a birthday gift.

I wonder how is Susan now. I met Susan around this time last year.....hope she is fine and doing well.........................................

How Long More???

I wonder how long more is the dark pit gonna stay.....it has been a few weeks now.....I need to rebounce back on my spiritual scale. I am still supa tired physically and my back is 'egging' more and more each day ! Age is catching up I guess.......

Had a wonderful prayer meeting last week with demons being casted out....wat an awesome presence of God to do deliverance.....I dont know why i like to cry alot..maybe should cast out the spirit of crying...else my swimming pool in heaven will be flooded!

Last sunday service was wonderful. When pastor is closing the service, the anoiting of the HS was soooo strong, then my tears again weight like a heavy pearl. ohhhh I need a physical revival!Take away all the physical tiredness and more rest please.............

Wildcat Farewell Gathering on 1 Oct 05 (Sat)

Saturday was our gathering for Wildcat as she is leaving for Dubai on Monday. Well, there goes one of my good friend and Clubbing Kaki as she will be away for one year! We also celebrated Doris's birthday on the same day. Her birthday falls on the exact date, month and year with that Idiot! Meaning if I celebrate her birthday, every year I will remember his...... So sick of it! Cant stand it! He took away my Mont Blanc Pen! Should have kept it under lock ! Why am I so stupid to gave him that as a present last time?! HUMK !

I had a terrible feeling while I was at the gathering. Somehow or rather, this is the first time where I find that I dont have much to talk to them! :( We used to be so happy together...but now I felt like the things we chat and said is 'lifeless'. They chat about Korean Stupid Love Serials, the sad and romantic stories (not practical at all in real life) etc etc...yackety Yack! I was bored to death man! But for the sake for my good friend, I tried to stay there as long as possible.....

There is really a difference between godly friends and worldly friends. I am glad I felt this way as I know that my life is indeed different now, I am with my church family. And I feel very happy and enjoy our fellowship together. Even though sometimes we crack silly jokes, but it is still so funny with 'BIBLELICAL" implications...(Haaaa I still remembered one of our brothers who cant pronounce "biblical" correctly :P)

Thank God I managed to break the 'lock' inside me after abt 3 weeks of emotional and spititual dryness. Thank You Lord for the word at Isaiah 46:10 and Isaiah 51:12-16 "I am God's People!" God loves me so much......

Thank you Father for the vision of the black tunnel even before my trials began. Although now I am still at the pit of the test, Lord I trust and believe that you will deliver me outta this situation as long as I hang onto U and be obedient. In the midst of this situation, I know that u r preparing me for greater works and to mold my character. It really does not matter how many times we failsed but its a matter of us gaving up trying.

"Lord, Help me to submit everything to u and let you be my security instead of finding it in human. You can be my source and my salvation! Now I understand the meaning of this song!"

SHOU FANG KAI Ba! (Let it Go la....Gerry.....)

Be it I am stupid, Be it I am idiot, Be it I am downcast......I am choosing to be a loser....Yes! A Damn Lousy LOSER! What can I achieve anyway !?!

Well.....Let it go...let it gooo....LET IT GOOOOOOO>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am utterly depressed now. Why why whyyyyy! Lucky's room here is full of memories, memories of something I wished I can forget, erase and restart. Why must I found those cards that reminds me of the good old times? He used to be such a pure & sweet 'asshole', but now he is really 180 degree changed. Actually, I did not even realised that he has changed so much during the past few years. The passion is totally OUT n OFF! Well at least thank God it ended before we got more commitment. I think I might end up being an grumpy housewife full of regrets throughout my life living with a messy, lazy n miser character which I cannot stand. Well I dont want to be like my grandparents and parents. Regret throughout their life for marrying the wrong person and lived in pain that can never be reverse nor erased.

This is an real life example: Man's vow or commitment is worth nothing! One moment they made a vow, telling you how much he loves you, (Bullshit) the next moment he is eveready to break it and act blur "Did I say that?'. Is it suppose to be like this? Well, I dont agree with that! Where is the Character and Commitment? Nowadays man dont take on any more responsibilities. They just wan visual pleasures and to satisfy their 2 heads!

One of the most impt decision to make is for us to marry the right partner. If u get a wrong one, ur life will become a living hell, and then another hell after we died. Isnt it scary?? If we get a right one, we can rest assured to enjoy each other's company......encouraging one another to serve the Lord together and edifying one another.

Cursing and blessing, U choose it !