~~~~~~Searching~~~~~~

In the search for me, I discovered TRUTH

In the search for truth, I discovered LOVE

In the search for love, I discovered GOD

And in GOD, I have found EVERYTHING!

Author Unknown

Emotions and Memories

"Lord, I Give my Life, A Living sacrifice I place at your feet ~~~~~" Even though I am singing this everyday, it seems that Mr D is really good in hitting you real hard with your past memories.......

29 Aug (Mon). I was not guarding my heart well and was well in resting and relaxing. I was having some "FUN" with Mr D again thinking about Mr Past. Is it true that people tends to treasure things that they cant get, and they dont treasure what they already have.... Those things that you cant get seems to be like a precious diamond,which is always soooo dear to you. I will always remember Mr Past. Till now, I still think about Mr Past sometimes. Seeing someone who look similar like him on the street will make my heart beat faster!! Why?? Bec I still miss him? GUILTY CONSCIENCE ??! I wonder does his work still requires him to travel frequently?? How is he coping with his work?? Is he happier now since his family had came over to Singapore?..........whatever LOL.....

Why am I getting myself to be tempted with MR D's fiery plan. I was crazy to get myself involved in this pile of shitty shit. Guard guard guard......I am letting off my both hands on Mr Past.....Good bye.....Dearest Michelle......

Patience...A Big WORD....

Patience towards people is LOVE

Patience towards self is HOPE

Patience towards God is FAITH

I got these revelation from a dear brother who came back to God after nearly a year of enjoyment in the world. Most of the time, enjoyment in the world is pretty short term. Just when u thought u are really happy and enjoying, disappointments, hurts and all rubbish came in to steal away your joy.....True enuff, the bible says Mr D came to STEAL, KILLS and DESTROY! Nothing from Mr D is everlasting and it always look good on the surface but inside, it stinks like SHIT!

God can works wonders to draw the attention of us to bring us back to communion with Him.

Why I super PMS?!

Yesterday was one of my most lousiest day after many months of recuperating from all my 'stress'. Terror came and DISTURB me AGAIN!!!! ARGGHHHHHH...why this SBSC jerk always wanna come and STEAL away my peace ?? Always wanna DISTRACT me on my CG DAY....! ARHHHHHHHHHH...................BIND U !!!!!!!

My hormones sort of lost balance again...insecurity and anger nearly engulfed me from the bloody news. Our little agreement seems to be 'broken'. Really MEN CANNOT BE TRUSTED AT ALL....I guess it is another phase of testing Gerry again?! But thank God for his grace and mercy bec everytime before any incident, He will pre-warn me.

Really thank God for Pastor Paul for prophecying that I am waiting upon the Lord for an answer to something. This had indeed geared me to TRUST GOD.......Then true enuff the thunder storm came, faster than the agreed date, but thank God for "Dont turn left or right or even backward...look forward and look to God! Trust Him!" Teach me not to lean on my own understanding nor own strength, teach me to depend and trust on U more everyday!

Drug Overdosed Since 16 Aug

Never in my life have I been down with flu for more than 1 week before! I felt like my whole body is filled with over dosed drugs this whole week. The sad thing is, I am not healed at all. In fact, it seems like there is no improvement at all. I woke up today and again my flam has blood and my throat felt so uncomfortable and a super BLOCK NOSE! The whole nite I could not sleep at all as I was coughing so hard....AIYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Jehovah ROPHE!!!!

How many people meant it when they say "I Give"

Been thru alot these 2 weeks. Been kinda sad n hurt that the Holy Spirit felt hurt and grieve. The HS is weeping for us, for our ignorance, disobedience and hardened heart that is soooo far away from Him. I like what Sy Rogers said, pls dont think you have been christians for many years and assume that you know God very well.God is a PACIFIC OCEAN! I hope this statement would be grilled into their mind. Dont they know that they are becoming more and more like the Pharisees?? Quoting bible verses does not make u in any way holier or righteous than others. Dont they know that the devil is using them as the "weakest link"? Dont they realise that they are "fighting" against God?

There are so many people in church, but if there is a crisis, how many people will stand firm and stay united to uphold the name of the Lord?? We have been singing this song I Give in church, how many people actually mean what they said when they sing: "Lord I give my life a living sacrifice I place at Your feet I offer to You" Do we actually know the meaning of giving my life to Jesus?? Well, I pray God will prepare and mold us so that we will be able to do what He has called us to be.... Guard n guard ......

I Give

(Dedicated to my dearest Jesus who never disappoint us)

Come and fill me Holy Spirit
I seek the warmth of Your embrace
Lord I'm longing for Your presence
Just one touch of Your grace
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

All my life I've searched for heaven
My heart it longs for so much more
A love so true, now I've found it in You
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet

I offer to You
For only You can satisfy my longing
Jesus You're all I desire

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet

More than what this world offers
You are my only treasure
My world means
nothing without You

Gerry's Poem

Know My Friend Gerry
Who Is Unique
A Cheerful Face And A Bright Countenance
She Is Definitely A Woman Of Faith And Substance
Faithful And Loyal Is She
A Call Away And There She’ll Be
She Is Modern And Fashionable
She Is Never Unreasonable
Where She Goes, There’ll Be Joy & Laughter

Come On Guys, She’s A Pearl To Be After!!!

Author Stella Sim

A dear sister wrote this after her mission trip from China...Humm...I never know I am modern, fashionable and a pearl to be after wor ???!!! LOL .....

Oh Lord, Guide me Forever ....

As I was reading 'The Power of the Praying Woman" book in the clinic, the Lord showed me my sins and mistakes ! :S Telling unkind things about a person to another person is actually SIN to God. Oh no.......! Having a selfish thoughts or act is also sin to God! OH GOSH!!! Anything that does not comes out of love = Gossip = SIN! Immediately, I confessed my sins and repent there n then. I dont want this thingy to separate me from God...Really thank God that everytime when we are "off track", He will come in and guide us back.

God..You are really a kind Father whom I can trust ompletely! You give us the freedom to make our own choices but will remind us gently when we made any decisions that contracdict yours. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Really thank you for the freedom given to us so that it will not make us into robots.....


Patience towards people is LOVE,
Patience towards self is Hope,
Pateince towards God is FAITH !

Ps133 Brothers to live together in Unity

I think God is really Good to me! I was just telling Him yesterday I dont know how the book of Psalm will help me in my bible reading. Bec I read without understanding nor revelation. It was like a monotanous bible reading session. Today all my revelations and rhemas were all from the book of Psalm. It is about the Godly fear and tonite was about UNITY (Ps 133: 1-3)

I was having a very powerful prayer tonight with my buddy, broken toe nail sister. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....scary nick.........After our makan session with nailess sister, hippo and huggie, nailess sis msn me and we decided to pray and stand in the gap to intercede. The prayers were awesome and we recieved a powerful word from God!!!! After reading the scriptures. my spirit was leaping with excitement and my goosebumps all stand up !

Ps 133: 1-3

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in Unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,

running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard,

down upon the collar of his robes.

It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.

For there the Lord BESTOWS HIS BLESSING EVEN LIFE FOREVERMORE!!

Its really amazing how God works. I know that all the rubbish will be ended with a good note by next week! Be it watever outcome, I know it is the best perfect outcome since God is the one in charge of everything. I just pray and hope that there will be grace, mercy and repentance from the cannot make it spoilt little brats. Who don't make mistakes? Everyone does!! In the end, its how we love and forgive one another. Everything that happens will be added into our lives as experiences and never will it be wasted. We will learn to be a better person ultimately! Hallelujah!

Confirmation to have Godly Fear !!! Buck up Gerry!

As I was reading the bible on my way to work this morning, I know the Lord is SCREAMING at me about the FEAR of the Lord. Just reading 2 chapters oon the book of Psalm, the word FEAR came bouncing into my face 3 solid times !!!!!

1. Ps 33:18 But the EYES of the Lord are ON those who fear him
(woooo God is watching me and guiding me)

2. Ps 34:7 The ANGEL of the Lord ENCAMPS around those who fear him
(ahhhh God will send his angel to protect me)

3. Ps 34:9 Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him LACK NOTHING!!!
(WAHHHHH...I will have EVERYTHING!!!!)

I know immediately that the Lord is trying to encourage and remind me of His Goodness, mercy and grace for those who fear him. Indeed the most significant verse is Ps 34:9 bec I will LACK NOTHING if I fear him! All I need to do is to have Godly fear, thats all!!! Its just so simple!

Oh NO! Where is my Fear Factor for da Lord!

On Tue and Wed, I was down with flu. Yes...again....:S I was practically sleeping the whole day on Wed after being 'drugged' from all the medicine intake. I had slacken in my prayer and bible reading during those days. Yesterday nite I was wasting my time watching "The war of the World" by Tom Cruise after praying with Der and Ko Ko. Instead of reading the bible which is my spiritual food, my computer became my idol. Then when I woke up this morning, I took God for granted and repented for not reading the bible and spending QT with Him. I behave like a total Idiot! Am I asking for cheap grace? Taking God for granted and sinned wilfully?????

Then today during CG as we begin speaking in the heavenly language, I heard the HS saying "Where is your Fear for the Lord?!!!" OH NO!!!! I started crying with regrets for grieving the HS!!! Why! I prophecy last week warning myself and others never to greive the HS. But here I am, repeating the same mistakes! :(

God, Pls forgive my ignorance and disobedience. I will place the fear of the Lord as the top priority, seeking God daily and keep myself away for any unrepented sins. I dont want to procastinate my repentance as I may not know whether will I ever get up the next day. Let this be a lesson learnt as it will be disastrous if I were to died in my sleep. Then all my effort will be wasted. Just for one folly moment of laziness, risked throwing my entire body, soul and spirit into the everlasting furnance....Not worth at all man!!!!

Rubbish !!

Heard some rubbish and silly 'encounters' when I was at Raffles Hospital on Sunday (14 Aug 05), visiting my sister-in-law. I cant help but wonder wat can I do to help?? I think only prayers to God. My blood temperature suddenly raised to 100 deg C! I am surprised there is such a cannot make it childish little brat character existed in my family! The brat is worst than my niece! My niece is so teachable and lovable. Like wat pastor said:" When u whined at the age of 4, U r soo cute. But when u whined at the age of 40, that is simply DISGUSTING!!!" AMEN! :P

Last Friday I went to brother butter house for CG. This is the first time when I prophecy, I literaly felt that my dearest Holy Spirit is very very grieved! Yah I may sound silly, but when i prophecy, I just feel like crying...dont know why. He is so greive but he still encourage us to seek him first and ALL THINGS shall be added upon us. All things! Security, Status, Blessings watever u have desired, you will get it if it had been asked with the right motive. Now I understand why Kathering Kuthman cried during one of her preaching, exclaiming "DO NOT GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT!" I really hope that I will not grieve the Holy Spirit so deeply now. I pray that I will become a better person, from glory to glory by His guidance each day.

Ohhh drowsiness effects from the medincine is kicking in...I need to find Z monster now......

Arrival of my Baby Nephew

My baby nephew finally was borned on 14 Aug 05 (Sun). Exactly a month after my beloved Grandpa returned to Jesus. We just had a family gathering on Sat at my aunt's house drinking tonic chicken soup and super SOLID LOTONG (Simply ooiishii!) . My brother saw the baby kicking very actively. heee.....Amazing! Baby was suppposed to be due next month, but that excited little baby boy cant wait to come and see the world! He is 34 weeks premature...so small ..heee (like a monkey....oops....my brother cant read this...heeee...) He look exactly like Elva when she was newly born...Like Sister Like Brother. :P Mom is busy again for at least a month to take care of my sis-in-law. She cooked Vinegar Pork today....and Lucky begged for the food as it has a strong aroma.Poor Lucky, no body taking care of him now. :(

I am sick again! I was feeling very cold and feverish when I was at Ah Chan's Office. But I still need to'sweet talk' to those CEOs, GMs etc etc asking them to attend a conference. After that still need to go meet Eileen. :S I was asking for God's strength to carry me through the whole day. The 4 of us enjoyed the nice fellowship. Just felt that we should do something for God now instead of lazing around and be self-centered. I dont want to face God during judgement day, and then regret I did not try my best for God on Earth. Life is nothing but a race. U are the author of your life. Although God can plan for our purpose here on earth, we are the one who make the decision to ensure the calling will come to passed. So I decided that I should do my BEST for God. I will humble myself, willing to learn and to serve one another in love and respect.

On 16 Aug 05 (Tue) I am down with sore throat, feel feverish, running nose. Oh No! I am getting weaker now? I just recovered from major detoxification, flu and fever about a month ago. Now here I am, sick again! Could it be that spicy Lontong? Last time the suspected root cause was the Durian...:S I really need to guard and control my food intake....

Erase Past Memory (Can i do that completely??)

We had a great time today even in CG even though the number of members who came were very few. Had an awesome time worshipping the Lord and speaking in our heavenly language. Now I realised why it is so important to speak in tongues.

I think its about time I leave my guilt from all my wrong doings and past, and start looking forward to my present and future victories! I really hope to have a sanctify mind and a godly mind in future. Never again will I allow the same sins to come and haunt my guilt and memories again. Bec no matter how hard I tried, I will still think about it sometimes.

Yesterday Wild Cat told me she saw Terror at the marina south road show. This man was enjoying himself now with dont know "who". I also dont wish to know any thing about him any more. Although I said that to myself, I dont know why I am still feeling abit affected, thinking that he may be seeing someone new now. This is ridiculous isnt it?! I thought the Spirit of Grieve has been casted outta me? Or now is the Spirit of Rejection? Or may I manifesting again? No wonder God told me His peace and Joy will be with me. I realised God always give me encouragement prior to some discouraging events.

Why have I start to confess negative again? I still miss OnO after so many months!!!!!!!!! So is the devil trying to make me confuse again? Am I going thru another testing of my emotions? Haa if i pass the test, will God send my Godly man soon??? Never mind, I will wait upon the Lord and OnO was history and I MUST FORGET him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIYOOOOOOOOOO FOOOOORRRRGGGGEEEETTTT! OUT! OUT! OUT !

Aiyoooo FOCUS GERRY!

Holy Laughter and A Mighty Army on 31 Jul 05 (Sun)

31 Jul 2005 (Sun), aday that marked my breakthru relationship with Abba Father, who loves me and gave me a new life. Thank U father and my Lord Jesus! If the crisis never happened, I would not have lead such a happy and fruitful life. Thank you for the chance to lead a new exciting life with You.....Words cant expressed my heartfelt gratitude to your mercy and grace........

The presence of God was sooooo tangible at home on 31 Jul (a sunday after Pastor Mike Connell's deliverance) which makes me fell into Holy Laughther. When I asked God for more, He GAVE ME MORE! I ended up laughing hilariously and weeping simultaneously...really like a "siao za bo"...............Dont know I was crying or laughing.... :P But it was an awesome encounter! This is the 2nd time I encountered God with holy laughter at home! God is indeed good all the time, and all the time God is GOOD! Bec he saw the hunger I had for him, and he granted me the HL. I was very touched.......Alot of my 'internal injuries' was healed with all the laughing........

When I quiet down my heart before the Lord, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit soooo thick and I felt His presence infront of my face (with my eyes closed). At that moment, I was a it scared to "handle" it bec the presence was too STRONG and my left hand started to shiver under God's power....His presence was TOO REAL to handle that I became "scared"...Then I heard God telling me "I will build u a mighty army!" WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was thinking simi story?! Wanna go war? LOL Then He showed me a verse in 2 Kings 2 :19-22 . I was so touched that I cried non-stop like a baby in God's arms......The water has been healed. Never again will it caused death or be unproductive! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome Encounter with God

Rev Mike Connell was in town again to clean up all the 'houses' last weekend! It was a really awesome encounter! God must be doing something in my life that all the event that happens just came timely.....

One of my close fren prayed for me and she was sooooo excited that she smsed me at 2am! I got excited hearing her talking abt her revelation abt me. I was already sleeping like a baby as we have an outing at Labrador Park the next day (Sat).....It was quite a fun outing although we were caught in a 'thunder storm". I really enjoyed the time where most of us squeezed together behind the 'sizzling' plastice and being blessed with mee hoon, rain coats and taxi....Everything was well provided for.

Had an amazing time attending the Saturday and Sunday service and the message was abt SHAME and how to handle when faced with difficult situations respectively! Wow....for those who still wonders does evil spirit exits, these services could indeed show the reality of it, coupled with high pitched cannot stand it screammsssss and manifestations .........