Arise n Build or Sit n be Fearful??

Been so busy last week for my grandpa's funeral and wake. I did not go home for almost a week and some of my friends thought that I MIA into the air. LOL..... At last I was home yesterday before midnite!

I missed the Sunday first Arise n Build Service due to Grandpa's funeral. I recalled I lost all my grand parents within 3 years! One by one, 3 of them left us... I was very sad and disturb when I saw my granny's picture at Lucky's house. She was the only one who was not saved and the thought of her suffering in hell for eternity breaks my heart. I regretted not hanging onto God last time, regretted backslding and if ONLY I did something more when she was in hospital, will she received her salvation ???? I bet She will as long as we prayed and seek God erneastly, God will honour our faith! For it is through God's Grace and Mercy we had our salvation.

Seeing my dear grandpa lying motionless in the casket sets me thinking about lots of thingy. Everyone will die sooner or later. I will be the one lying inside some day. How do I make the best use of my life? I really thank God that we received our salvation when we are healthy,and not during our old age as we are abt to die physically. I felt so honour to be able to do something for God when I am still alive. I just hope I will die to self each day, and Christ lives in me more and more daily, so that He can work Thru me. I really am very greatly to God for my Grandma's and Grandpa's salvation. And I know that his death is not a wasted one as my family was exposed to christianity during the wake service. Although they may be skeptical abt the testimony or words, but I know something is sown into their life in the spiritual realm. This again confirmed what Pastor preached "Nothing is WASTED!" Even the death of my grandpa is also God's blessing to create an opportunity for my family to be exposed to christianity. I was very pleased to hear my brother said AMEN when we prayed before grandpa's casket at Mandai Crematorium before they close the coffin.

Yesterday finally while I was home, got access to the internet, I dont know why I hesitated from clicking on the button. Why am I living in fear and of lack now? Where has my faith in God goes to?? Where is my confidence in God now? Whatever.......I will find the strength in the Lord. In my carnal mind, I am fearful now....probably because I saw the income tax amount that I need to pay. I was very disturbed by the taxed amount....where on earth can i find that money....(and someone actually said that the 6 digit amt is PEANUT!) ..Never know the feeling of money out out out more than money in in in can become soo scary in my life.......................I really have no one to lean on, not even KP now, I can only lean onto God and Trust him for a miracle liao....

I need fresh anoiting Lord! Fresh Anoiting and Assurance (AnA) that you will provide for all my needs and care for you are my Jehovah Jireh (My Provider). Thank You Jesus!