A season to Love.....

"For you have me love much, So I will Love you much. I will anoit you with love. Everywhere u go, people will love u and you will love them ......" Rhema word

Revelation: If you love God, you will LOVE His PEOPLE.

I feel that God is teaching me something about Love these few weeks. As I read the bible past few days, its above LOVE, LOVE & LOVE.......Love is screaming at me!!!

I treasure the 'training' process God put me thru. I begin to love someone (brotherly and sisterly love. Not the lustful love hor) whom I felt I could never even like before. I began to realise the beauty of the person and become sympathy of his/her situation and will always keep him/her in prayer. I know no one is perfect, but there are just some funny characters around which is like a magnet, north repel north. No one can love getting near to them. Guess this is how wonderful our God do things. He can turn the situation around according to HIS PERFECT WILL as he is a God of reconciliation.

I just thank God for his training...for I know he has a greater calling/purpose for me when i am well trained in those areas he is molding. I will treasure the environment He puts me in and learn as much as I can, one by one in its due season.

Visions week

I am very happy that CG yesterday was filled with Visions and the presence of God was so tangible.

Really thank God for the visions & prophecies, make us grow (aiming at Jordan Stage) and love one another. I saw something changed just because our attitude changed. When U decided to repent and change, God honour that and everything is revived!

God will be our SUN (Light unto the path) and the source of our WATER (River of Life, anoiting)..... summary from the prophecies during CG

Detoxification on 24-25 Jul 05 (Sun ~ Mon)

Wow! Never thought that "detoxification" is such a painful process! My feet felt so numb and I feel like fainting going in and outta the Loo. (Tempted to just wear pampers and save all the troubles...hahahaaa................) I practically lost count on how many times did I visit Mr Loony. :S

Things just dont seemed to improve by Sunday nite. I had no choice but to sms the 2 power puff gals to pray for my healing............Thank God! My visitation to Mr Loony stopped at 3am (25 Jul, Mon) but the "butterflies" are still having a party inside my Fatty Stomach till now ! :(

Out out out ..... U GO! I hate Butterflies !!!!!!!!!! (Smurf accent...)

Pledge and Sacrifice.........Painful but Joyful !

Oh yah.......I suffered another heart pain sacrifice (Gerry sobbing.....) But I learnt from the first sacrifice giving, God will elevate me to another level of spiritual breakthru and abundant blessings.....Blessing may not limited to financial blessing, there are many other things more precious whereby money cannot buy nor replaced. I thank God for being sensitive to the tangible presence of God. Only this can quench our thirst and satisfy my soul.

For where your treasure is, There your heart will be!

Everytime I clicked on the website showing IPOD or MP3 Player, I will be tempted to think, if only I did not give, I will have that IPOD by now. My dream of getting an Ipod seems to be drifting further and further away from me. :( I remembered the first time I sacrificed Ipod because I obeyed God in blessing a sister. Now, the time for me to recuperate seems further as I made another sacrifice for church building fund. Although the amount is not large for the building fund, but I know God knows my heart. And I thank God for the amount He spoke to me is lesser than what I expected...... Phew..... :P Although the heart is painful, but I am glad that I was called to be involve in this History Making Sowing and Church Building for our next generation. We just Trust n Obey and God will do the rest in searching the best market place for our stadium. :)

I really thank God to open up my eyes to see beyond the temporal. I am now trying my best to live my life accountable to God. When I see Him face to face one day, I will be able to tell God: "Father, I have done my BEST from the Potential U placed within me."

I believe wat God had promised in Haggai 2:19 "FROM THIS DAY ON, I WILL BLESS YOU!"

Abba Father! I wan an MP3 player with bigger capacity :P heeee.....hee.....maybe later something even better than Ipod due to the harvest from sowing. :)

Bionic Woman Fell sick from Durian ???

SIGH..............Finally I got my 'punishment' from durian over eating. I thought I was a bionic woman who will never suffer from the effect of durian as I am a Durian Queen :P hee hee Finally I pengzzzz after eating a box of durian as I did not manage to drink herbal tea as I was rushing off to work. :(

I missed church service again this Sunday :( Thank God I managed to watch it online using my brother PC after slight 'spiritual warfare' fighting for the use of the PC :P God is Good! I WIN of course....haaa....

Oh God, Heal my aching body & back and LS....

Look to You God!

The first time I heard this song from Hillsong album, I love it immediately. Now it became a revelation song. whenever we are down, confused, discouraged or watever, we can find our comfort by looking towards God. We can hide under his arms and feel his protection. I just wanna hide under Jesus arm every now and then as it is the safest place that I have found and its a treasure! Pls help me guard my heart never to waver and lost my focus unto the Lord!

LOOK TO U by Hillsong

So I look to U

So I Look to U
No one else will do
No one else will do

I know U love me
I know U died for me
I know U care
I know U care

I know U live again
Your life for all my sin
Now I stand here in
In your grace again

When I look into the sky above
Wonder how my life has changed
Wonder how your love it came to me

When I look into the sky above
All my fears so far away

And all I feel is heaven calling me

Look to God when we are Discouraged! For Jesus had sacrificed for us!

Well today I had a revelation prophecy during Cell Group....Really greatful that God is using me to encourage others including myself.

"Dont be discouraged! Jesus was much more discouraged when he was cruxified at the cross by the hands of sinners...(what can be more discouraged in our life compared to Jesus? He sacrificed his life for all his people but they cruxified him and did not even believe all the miracles he performed.......Yet Jesus willingly died for us when we are still sinners) BUT Jesus chose to look to GOD who gave Him strength to fulfil His duty. For Jesus knows he must sacrifice for us! Thus, we must look to God for his strength and comfort for we know Jesus had sacrificed for us! Look to Him n God will comfort us!"

Hallelujah!

Arise n Build or Sit n be Fearful??

Been so busy last week for my grandpa's funeral and wake. I did not go home for almost a week and some of my friends thought that I MIA into the air. LOL..... At last I was home yesterday before midnite!

I missed the Sunday first Arise n Build Service due to Grandpa's funeral. I recalled I lost all my grand parents within 3 years! One by one, 3 of them left us... I was very sad and disturb when I saw my granny's picture at Lucky's house. She was the only one who was not saved and the thought of her suffering in hell for eternity breaks my heart. I regretted not hanging onto God last time, regretted backslding and if ONLY I did something more when she was in hospital, will she received her salvation ???? I bet She will as long as we prayed and seek God erneastly, God will honour our faith! For it is through God's Grace and Mercy we had our salvation.

Seeing my dear grandpa lying motionless in the casket sets me thinking about lots of thingy. Everyone will die sooner or later. I will be the one lying inside some day. How do I make the best use of my life? I really thank God that we received our salvation when we are healthy,and not during our old age as we are abt to die physically. I felt so honour to be able to do something for God when I am still alive. I just hope I will die to self each day, and Christ lives in me more and more daily, so that He can work Thru me. I really am very greatly to God for my Grandma's and Grandpa's salvation. And I know that his death is not a wasted one as my family was exposed to christianity during the wake service. Although they may be skeptical abt the testimony or words, but I know something is sown into their life in the spiritual realm. This again confirmed what Pastor preached "Nothing is WASTED!" Even the death of my grandpa is also God's blessing to create an opportunity for my family to be exposed to christianity. I was very pleased to hear my brother said AMEN when we prayed before grandpa's casket at Mandai Crematorium before they close the coffin.

Yesterday finally while I was home, got access to the internet, I dont know why I hesitated from clicking on the button. Why am I living in fear and of lack now? Where has my faith in God goes to?? Where is my confidence in God now? Whatever.......I will find the strength in the Lord. In my carnal mind, I am fearful now....probably because I saw the income tax amount that I need to pay. I was very disturbed by the taxed amount....where on earth can i find that money....(and someone actually said that the 6 digit amt is PEANUT!) ..Never know the feeling of money out out out more than money in in in can become soo scary in my life.......................I really have no one to lean on, not even KP now, I can only lean onto God and Trust him for a miracle liao....

I need fresh anoiting Lord! Fresh Anoiting and Assurance (AnA) that you will provide for all my needs and care for you are my Jehovah Jireh (My Provider). Thank You Jesus!

14 Jul 05 Farewell my 'Gong Gong' (Grandpa)

"DO NOT WORRY, EVERYTHING IS UNDER GOD's CONTROL" rhema word

The date 14 in cantonese read as "sup sei" which sounds like "sure die" (in translation). Hummm.....my beloved Gong Gong left us physically and returned to our Lord Jesus Christ today at 6.08am. Gong Gong did not recover since he fell on 2 May 05 and broke his hip bone. All in all, he suffered for about 2 months plus....I wonder if the hospital never insert that 3 screws in him, he may not developed the bad infection, which became so complicated which ultimately took him away from us in the midst of cleaning up his pus........and we did not even get to see him at his last breath.........But I know God is Good....Holy Spirit reminded me "Do not worry, Everything is in Good Order in His Hands!"

Still remember the time when me and mom brought him out of the nursing home to check up at the hospitals and he cant even walk or move, and we both need to carry him out of the car door onto the wheel chair. It must be the Strength from the Lord that we were able to carry him...In fact I felt remorsed of not visiting him since monday and tue (which I planned to visit him, but was unable to as I was working till late nite.) While I was praying in 4.50am in the morning after receving a call from Aunt saying Grandpa is in critical condition in the operating theatre, the Holy Spirit is sooo good, he encouraged me and reflashed the things I did for Gong Gong, I felt encouraged and I knew I had done my duty. I am very glad for God grace and supernatural intervention for Grandpa salvation. At least I know he is in Heaven now with a new healthy body and he is relieved from his physical sufferings and meet my grandma in heaven too :)

Sigh...Its usually in moment like this, u get to see who is for u or against u, unity or disunity, fillial or unfillial, a kind heart or wicked person..........When the person is alive, they refused to be involved, dont wanna pay the hospital bills, dont even wan to visit him at the hospitals and claim they dont have any thing to do with him. When the person is dead, immediately they rush to his house to see whether is there any valuable things to GRAB!!!!!!!!!! Worst still, they said so many unkind things about Grandpa and even insulted his SALVATION! Dont they know that it is by GOD's GRACE and MERCY that Grandpa was saved and it is GOD that they are INSULTING!!!!!!!!!!! They even wan to mess around choosing a LOUSY CANNOT MAKE IT COFFIN!!!!! Felt like telling them to F*** off since they are not going to pay anything and not even fillial to Grandpa! (I Hope their children will not buy such low class, cannot make it coffin for them in the future!) Why the sudden interest to INTERFERE!!!!! Felt like swearing but I am in the process of sanctification and I bear good testimony for our Lord and I gotta respect them as they are my elders. If they are not my elders, I would already slap them :P (No la, i will love my enemy and Vengeance Belongs to the Lord!)

The Bible became so real to me. It stated In the last days, Human will be very wicked with a cold n hardened hearts, children against parents, hatred etc etc....This is soooooo TRUE. Sigh..... They really are such a bad flock among the sheeps (BAD TESTIMONY to my unsaved relatives) and they are such a DISGRACE to Jesus.

GOD! Grace Grace! Increase my capacity to love even the unlovables.........

Grandpa in critical Condition

I was awakened from my peaceful sleep around 4.35am this morning. When i saw it was my uncle calling me, I knew right away something bad had happened to Grandpa. Aunt told me Grandpa was having sort of heart attack or weak heart and he is in the Operating Theatre now.

I felt sad and a bit uneasy. I started praying and then the Holy Spirit reminded me that 2 days ago, He told me "Do not worry, Everything is under Control...... " When I got this Rhema 2 days ago, I dont understand what is it I am worrying about because Terror was already history. Today then I understand that God is preparing for my emotions for Grandpa.

Got to run~ brother is here...

Mengenal-Mu....Indonesian Worship by Sidney Mohede

Heard this wonderful song last Friday at our overnite prayer meeting lead by Sidney.....I was very touched with the lyrics! I recall all the good things that the Lord had done for me and I felt so honoured and bless! Nothing can express my gratitude to God....

Lord, I just know I love u more each day....more than anyone on earth now....My love for You grow stronger each day and my love for the 'world' dies gradually............Lord, I wan to set my life APART for You n SET my EYES UPON U......Pls grant me the STRENGTH, FIRE and DESIRE to finish the race well and to depart from the world, Lord! Thank you Jesus for giving me a new chance ..

MENGENAL-MU by SIDNEY MOHEDE
Bila kubuka mataku (When I open my eyes)
Dan lihat wajah Mu (And look at Your face)
Ku ter ka gum (I am amazed)

Bila kulihat hidup ku (When I look at my life)
dan karya tangan Mu (And all the works of Your hand)
Ku ter san jung (I am honored)

Kar' na semua yang baik (Because all good things)
dalam hidup ku (In my life)
Itulah karyaMu (They are Your wondrous works)
Kau b'ri k'sempatan yang baru (You give a brand new chance)

Dan ku ingin mengenalMu, Tuhan (And I want to know You, God)
Lebih dalam dari s'mua yang kuke nal (Deeper than all that I have known before)
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu (There is no greater love than Yours)
Ku ada untuk men jadi penyembah Mu (I am here to be Your worshipper)

Old Lady Dream Dreams

I think I am becoming so old now, "Young men see Visions and Old men dream Dreams". This week I kept dreaming in my sleep! Never get to sleep in 'peace', however, I was not tired from the dreams :D Is it I did not seek God first when I am awake that he can only get my attention to get His message across to me through dreams?? No wonder my prophecy on CG last Thursday is about Seeking God First! God told me all about christianity is to Seek God first! Back to the basic...many of us deviate in seeking him and putting him first due to our work, distractions etc and that include even in doing God's work. But the very basic in seeking God and worshipping Him is what God desires!

The first dream I had was God told me " DO NOT BELIEVE MEN WHO HAS GLITTERY MOUTH!" Wow power la...as if i will meet men of such??? haaa....Ok i will guard.

2nd powerdul dream: The OWL Dream (:D)
I really love this dream as it was a revelation to me! To be a minister for God to impact needy's life so that they will come to know Jesus and experience God's Love, Peace and Hope! Never look down on myself, I am very important as God need me to work THROUGH me...its time to remove my low self esteem and stop thinking I cant be useful at all in God's Kingdom!

My Faith Turning Point!

Hallelujah! My heartfelt thanks to God for His Mercy and Grace! On Thurdays, I received the greatest happiest news I ever heard! Yeah....My grandpa received Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour on Tuesday 5 July 2005 and was baptised on 8 July 2005 by Uncle Chiau, who works full time as a Pastor now, and another Senior Pastor....Hallelujah! God honoured our prayer..THANK YOU JESUS! I remembered I was still praying for his salvation on sunday or monday, no wonder I prayed and weeped, I believed I interceded for him there & then and God was touched! :)))

I never know that winning a soul (especially for my family) to God's kingdom can be so exciting! My faith increases and I am excited to win more souls for Jesus! Nothing in the world can compare with the joy or satisfaction from winning a soul to God! Hallelujah! However, I still have a burden now for Grandpa, ie my uncle would at least visit him before Grandpa return to be with Jesus. I was praying to God that I would like to help grandpa fulfil his last wish. I visited him today at the hospital, he kept looking at the time and asking why someone not here yet. Although he never said who he is expecting, I knew he wanted to see his son. :( Sigh........................ We must ensure we married the correct person to make our life a enjoyable one or a living 'hell'. Uncle's wife is really not a virtue wife, never stand in the gap, the least she could do is to bring my cousins to visit Grandpa. Why is she only concern about money at this point? I know I should not judge anyone. But isn't family ties & love worth much more than just money, which can be earned back if it is spent. We can never buy another Father-in-law when he is gone!

Anyway, after hearing from God to contact my Uncle, I just hope that he would not be hostile towards me when I call him. God is always faithful and He works in a wonderful way. My uncle returned my call and I took a step of FAITH to request him to visit Grandpa. At least he never say "NO" and he answered politely that he may visit him when he is free. Yeah yeah....When we carry God's presence, it indeed makes a difference. :D Frankly speaking, I was so afraid to make the call initially as I dont want to end up like my mum, being "lectured" by Uncle's wife with disgusting remarks. But I told myself, I should only FEAR GOD AND NOT MEN. Since I am God's minister as being told in the "Owl's dream", I will never fear men so that I can bring God's Love, Hope and Peace to others through me! I dont want to be accountable why I did not try my BEST when I meet God face to face in future.

The principle of Sowing and Reaping?

1 Tim 5:8
"If anyone does not provide for his relative, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever!"

I really wonder why my own Uncle can be so heartless to his dad. He dont even want to visit him at the hospital even when he is nearing the end of his life. No matter what wrong or how bad Grandpa was many years back, he is still his dad after all, isn't it? Don't they know the principle of sowing and reaping since they are christian too? Or is it Grandpa is reaping what he sowed? Sigh... i guess we cant blame Uncle for his hatred. But can we harbour hatred for so long??? Its a bondage that will leads to destruction! Anyway, Ireally pity grandpa....his only son is ignoring him totally. Left with only 2 "cashless" daughthers to pay for all his medical expenses :( Hummmm, come to think of it, Uncle is not afraid that his children will treat him the exact way he treated their grandpa? (Gerry's eyes rolling) Watever!

This incident sets me thinking how will I react if it is my dad? My dad is a trouble maker since young even until now, I can never imagine a man can be such a total failure all his life. Nothing good ever came out from him, all I can say is, I sympatised my grandma that she had such a immature, unfilial son. She died without seeing her son turn over a new leaf........... All her life savings had either been used up to pay loan shark, gambling den and 'chicken'!! Worst thing is, his pride blinded him to think that he is right and he is STILL RIGHT UNTIL NOW! I think he dont know how to spell "SHAMELESS"! Really dont want to bother about his watever bloody "business" outside. I really dont feel like going back to that house to face him. I would rather stay alone and have my peace......

Will I ever be judged by God if I dont wanna take care of him since he never took care of us ? I had to pay for my own poly school fees by taking up vacation jobs and my brother had to scarifice not going to JC bec we have no $ to provide him for University. Our generation suffered just because him, who dont know how to be a responsible father! Sigh! Are we obligated to take care of him too ???????

Nothing will be wasted!

As I was looking at my resume, I really detest my job as a draftman in my younger days. I felt it spoilt my market value and my resume. However, as wat Pastor said nothing will be wasted ! God is really good in encouraging me when I need it badly. I was surprised that with my AutoCad knowledge, there were actually 2 job interviews with quite an attractive salary. So that confirms what Pastor said, nothing in our life is ever wasted! Although it is not the type of job that I am looking for now, I know in my heart that I will be able to find a job that I will love so much...and everyday is like Play day instead of Work day.....

Recently, Pastor is teaching us about "There is a Purpose and there is a Season for everything!" It sets me thinking again, what is my talents, what is my strength? What is my calling? The calling is crying out to me, But Why I cant HEAR it? Anyway, I will be praying for the calling to be revealed to me soon.... We need new anoiting and revelation to keep us going....Like wat Benny Hinn said "The anoiting yesterday is not good enough for today" I totally agreed to his statement...we need more n more anoiting daily. No wonder I have been feeling "why am I so dry" etc....until I read Benny Hinn's book then I realised that I need more and new anoiting everyday! That was why I was always feeling not enough or 'dry'....Nothing on earth can satisfy us.....not even work, money or our spouse. We need Agape Love to satisfy our Spirit!

I am very excited for Chris and Martin as they are getting married on 22 Oct (heee 3 days before my birthday)! It has always been one of my dreams to have my wedding held in a church....A pure White Wedding with long silky flowing train similar to Princess Diana's :D (ooi ooi Gerry! Come back from dreamland la! oops!)

You have my Heart......by Nikki Flether (CCY)

Few days ago, I dedicated this song to my beloved Jesus and God from the bottom of my heart..... :) Indeed, God is my hope and strength..."Come unto me all who are weary, and I will give You REST." Nothing beats the rest, love and security given by Jesus. He is calling out to us, but can we Hear him ???

You have my Heart (Christian City Youth)

I find my hope in You my Lord

I've found my hope

And all of my strength is found in You

You are my strength

Lord take my cares

Bring me closer to You

I reach out my hands and worship You Jesus

Let your Spirit fall and make me new

More like You

You have my heart

Jesus Christ

I give You my life

You're all I need

You're all I see

You're all I dream

Jesus