Be KIND as a sheep but be WISE as a ??

God is really good! On 22 May 05, I was wondering whether can I continue my worldly pleasures as long as I behave and wondering will I get my revelation soon (written in my 22 May blog). Hummm God is working really fast ! :P I had my 'revelation' on 27 May 05!!! I really thank God that throughout the process, we were all so protected in His grace! Even my friends also feel that! Thank u Jesus! It was a very great lesson learnt....'U hold my life, I trust in you ....."

The Bible says the world is full of its evil desires and what has light got to do with darkness?! I totally agree and will submit to this 'revelation' from today onwards. I realised with great conviction that God is Good and His love for me is so greater than anything on earth! He is the Best Love I have ever found throughout my life time. I no longer envy wat the rest were doing, but I am glad I have my God and will find great delight in obeying his commandment! (Although we struggle at times.)

I wonder why some people return evil for good? Do they have conscience at all? What are they thinking? Don't they have kindness in their heart? Hummmm.........The world is full of vicious people, making use of each other ....What kind of environment is this?! I really thank God it only cost me $84! That's cheap to see through a person's greed, evil desires or watever! No wonder One n Only used to say "I trust you, but I don't trust the men around you! " I am starting to wonder now, how about yourself ?? heeee heee....................... watever..............Mr blogger, Sigh!

After so many trials, I think Lucky is still the best person I had ever met. Although it does not have a happy ending, (which marks the last chapter in both of our story) he is the sweetest fellow who really protected n cared about me before. Maybe I am fortunate that most of my friends were honest and kind which makes me trust others easily......Never mind, we grow from experiences. I believe I can grow from glory to glory for my Abba Father !

Gerry ! Focus on your vision in CG on 26 May 05.....The tree with fruits in green pasture beside the river.......The river which gives us life is the word of God and the Spirit of God! Be fruitful.............arrrrr Can I be a Durian tree :D I love to eat durian..........

Struggles and Perserverence (Lord, Help me!)

Jesus is a living example for us to learn from. He was tempted by the devil 3 times but he resisted the temptation by quoting bible verses which the devil also gave up on 'disturbing" Him. :D

Alot of times, we have our struggles & temptations in life....even though we had made a choice to live our lives anew, to live a holy life which is pleasing to the eye of the Lord, but we seems to be so vulnerable. We strife to please the Lord at our best effort, but we don't pass every test the Lord has put us through....However I know at the end of the day, it is by God's grace n strength plus our willingness to seek for forgiveness, repent n obedience that will keep us going, running towards closer to Jesus again....For the bible says, Perseverence builds Character....if I dont even have self discipline and perservernce, how am I going to have that Character that God is looking for?

I know the Lord is dealing with me AGAIN with something that I failed to resist previously. It seems that we can't Act Blur (AB AB) with God. He will come back and deal with u on the same things which we failed previously.... :( Somehow I sensed that I need to forsake the 'old' and be "pure minded" :( God showed me a Rhema Verse Ps 112:1

"Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,WHO FIND GREAT DELIGHT IN HIS COMMANDS."

The word in red caught my attention. Many of us fear the Lord, but do we really find delight in obeying his commands? I am sure we do complain at times, this is human nature.......this is the challenge I need to face....God is testing my love for him again?? Or is he sanctifying me??? Can i resist the temptation and cast the ungodly desires away and to delight in His command whole heartedly??!?

Thank God he showed me this verse to keep the devil's mouth shut! I was starting to "envy" what my friends are enjoying now. I wished I could "enjoyed" the things that they are doing, but I DARE NOT because I have Godly fear in me. If I don't know God, I dare not even think wat will happen to me by now.....:P Gerry singing "Sexy, naughty, bitchy me.... "

I guess the verse came at the right time, TO DELIGHT IN GOD's COMMAND.....I will continue to delight and focus on God. It does not matter whether I am nicknamed as 'Out Dated" by choosing not to follow their "Open Mindedness" behaviour. I choose to present myself pure before the Lord..... Hallelujah.........

Process of sanctification? Self Control? Make a choice!

Humm......I did not manage to wake up on time for 9am sunday service ...dont know wat story! However I heard a pc of very good news at the 2pm service! Yes!!! Our church will be moving from the wild wild west to the Far East...........yeah ! Finally we r back to prosper the east again after 3 years at Jurong? heee....this means that we can get more sleep instead of waking up at 6.00am on a Sunday morning.....can catch more beauty sleep......

Talking about season for everything......I think now my season is SANCTIFICATION ar ! Aiyooo dont know what story......Sometime really have to guard our 'howlian ness". I thought I need little sleep and will be able to wake up. But me hor so disappointed with myself too.....sigh......Next time I should not anyhow challenge people about Part 2! How I know "old butter" will go for second round?

New Asia Bar was a very very nice place....classy and nice crowd.....everything was so fine until a stupid malay started a fight. I also dont know who against who as most of them all became "involved", angmos, chinese and malays all fight together! Really a spoil spot! The hotel had such lousy security team as the fight was not under control for about 10mins. They had to light up the whole place and stop the music to pull them out. It was such a disappointment and disgraced. It was supposed to be a CLASSY place but it turned out to a place of AH BENGS! We r all out for fun, why fight? Aiyoooo so immature.......

Old Butter was so crazy.....while we were on the way home from New Asia, he mentioned about going for Part 2. I thought he was only joking but we really ended up in the stupid Devils Bar......Sigh.....it closed at 6am ! Wow lau...now these places close so late ! No need to sleep ar? The crowd there simply CANNOT MAKE IT! I wonder have they stop drinking milk from their mother :P :X oops.....censored "doo sound" They were all so young! :S Well maybe because I am too old....Well at least Double O crowd is much better than this place. This place is simply a waste of my time. Its like Heaven (New Asia) and Hell (Devil's bar). I wonder why people said that place is good....its a bunch of immature kids! I guess as we grow older, our 'taste' is different..i think very soon, I will have generation gap with these kids.... :D

At the end of the day....can i continue such fun as long as I behave? hope i will receive some revelation soon.....

A season for everthing!!! Ecc 3:1-8

Just finished reading the powerful testimony about Rebecca Brown and her husband and their trials and encounters....truely there is a season for everything! I felt so ashamed to behave like a whimpy christian, always crying out to God for something which was stolen by the thief and being tempted for worldly fun. I learnt that I should actually confront the thief and demand the stolen items back from him instead of being a cry baby asking from God for something which he did not take away from us. We are meant to be a victor as Jesus Christ had won all the battle for us by his precious blood. For the bible says that we are heirs and belongs to the royal family.........

Surely there is a season for everything, I believe the past one year plus is a season of healing for me...Really thank God for his mercy and grace. To recall, there were several "major" encounters with God. Holy laughther in Benny Hinn crusade, touch by the Holy spirit in the church wide overnight prayer meeting until 5am on friday, close encounters with God during my QT which I literally cried out to my hearts content on severals nites which follow by a sense of peace which I never felt before (I dont even know why i cry until so jiak lak. Maybe God knew that I still need more healing inside even which I am not aware of myself!), "burning sensation" anoiting in my body during Phil Pringle conference a day prior to my court hearing, a miracle 'victory' in the petition and the powerful impartation of anoiting by Rev Phil Pringle on Sunday and his wonderful small still voice telling me to prepare myself that I need to go back to Lucky's house soon etc etc. I believe these were the series of healing and preparation which God had done for me to prepare me for a brand new journey!

I think the season of healing is coming to an end...now is the season of restoration.....could it be restoring the family relationship? Restoring and conituning what I lost and stopped in 1999? Restoring my vision n dream? Restoring my destiny? I dont know.....but I belief I will have more victorious and exciting life ahead with Christ guiding me step by step.......I pray that I will be able to withstand his "training" which is the only way towards spirtual maturity and an increase of capacity in loving people......especially towards the "not so lovable" ones... :P

Temptations again n again! :S

Oh no!!!!!!!!!! Why am I always subjected to such a great temptation every friday nite? Why is it so difficult to refrain from clubbing? I just like to drink n have fun listening to the music......but..............I know its not wise to go with the 'wrong' company....but....Oh God! Pls deliver me outta such temptations.....I know obedience is not obedience at all if there is not even a choice to choose...I chose to be obedient before to refrain from clubbing...but....do I have to be subjected to the same temptations over n over again every friday??!? Lord pls give me strength to overcome that temptation! Sob sob sob......

Behave behave behave.....Gerry meditating....Guard my heart....guard my heart.......I dont wan to loose the anoiting ...its very precious to me...Please holy spirit.....empower me to be a OVERCOMER! Aiyooooo..................

Why am i still wondering how is "chick chick"? Is he fine, busy with work, is he still flying about? Why am i still thinking about "photocopy me"? No no, we had made the choice........... Oh no....why is it so difficult to forget something? I thought I am v forgetful person.... PLEASE! FOCUS!

Vision is the creation force....dont forget my calling and destiny in life! I cannot sin wilfully....Meditate and focus on my vision.....I will remember and hang onto the vision God shown me....I know it will come to pass...and its something wonderful !

What a pervert world of darkness..... :(

Finally my friend from San Francisco is coming to Singapore on 3 Jun. Humm....Some Singaporeans are hoping to get outta Sg but he is coming back to sg after becoming a US citizen. :S He must be hoping to find a sane chinese gal to be his wife since he cant find any sane chinese in SF :P Gosh! He ever "married" a mainland chinese gal bec the gal want to have US citizenship. Then few years later they filed for divorce, never ever consumate and the gal pay him a sum of $ for that!!! OH MY GOD!!! Since when has marriage become a "commodity" for trading??!!? So terrible.... they totally forget the sacred meaning of matrimony....

I am wondering which cave I have been raised up since young...there are so many things 'hanky panky' happenings in the world which shocked me! I thought only western perverts do such pervert thingy! But chinese is also doing such thingy????!!!!!!!O.O Am I really so innocent or I am as wat Wildcat said "STUPID!"....... -_-''' There are sooo many people out there who are having a rendevous with their body...BUT.....their partners are of the same GENDER !!!! :S gerry vomitting......My gosh....Uncle Director told me that in BJ there is a huge population of gays and his dark secrets with them.....My jaw dropped nearly touching the floor....A regional director like him is actually doing such thingy ..... WAT STORY ?! I thought director is suppose to be someone whom we respect...really angmo can't be trusted at all...their relationship and sex life is all in a huge mess! Hummm..........Chinese man is a no no for me and now angmo also cant be trusted.....so its destined that I will remained as a NUN liao..... :( But i still believe that my Godly man who is on fire for God will appear..... :P (oops as long as its not a "chao ta" man can liao)

I thought mainland chinese is very conservative and even prostitution is illegal? But I think Singaporean chinese is the one who is damn conservative! In BJ, they are doing so many "abnormal" things! I am sooooo SUA KU!!! Wat has the world become? I thought only angmos are very open in such thingy........In fact all over asia is open except Singapore which is slowly catching up the 'trend' within the young people..Its really a world of darkness out there........and Uncle director "criticised" me as a"boring" person for choosing to have a natural relationship! KNS.... :( I insist to have a relationship w a REAL MAN! Man n lady, lady n man......... Man n man, woman n woman!! Faintzzzz.........

Recently in Singapore a secondary school gal also posted obscene pictures on the internet...Gals kissing gal wearing school uniform...wah lau eh! Aiyoooo!!! really si buay sia suay....... I thought its part n parcel of growing up, only infactuation, wont do any physical thingy...but eeeeeeeeee...........they really kiss lek....I cant imagine myself kissing a gal. I rather kiss my Lucky.......at least Lucky is a male doggie.... :D

No Longer I

Finally I have access to PC again since Sunday..hee...hee....hacking into my brother PC :P! Shhhh.......He always scream when i use his PC.....so selfish....must be doing something "secret" w his pc...........

Wow wat a powerful service we had with Phil Pringle last Sunday with Joe, Dan and Niki Fletcher! I had been asking God the past few days for the impartation since I did not get any during the conference...Thank God finally we had the chance at Service 4 but...at a PRICE!!!! Our graceful age was revealed liao! :P The whole congregation KNOWS!!!!!! But who cares since I could catch the anoiting from God and I had been asking for it ! :D It was a wonderful feeling...when I walked towards the front, I could already feel my whole body very weak....the presence of God was sooo thick and my hands started to trembled while it was lifted up. While waiting to be prayed for I just closed my eyes n did not even see Phil Pringle coming. Then all of a sudden my butt slammed onto the floor and my spirit was v stirred up.....really God is so powerful! Dont know who was behind me....never manage to hold me...Humk! But it was not painful as I am with God and nothing will hurt with things associated with Him. :D I really wished for more of such powerful encounters and anoiting!

It is NO LONGER I WHO LIVES, BUT CHRIST WHO LIVES IN ME! I pray that I will watch my life and live a Holy life and never to sin wilfully again... I will never allow the "lion" who is standing by aiming to devour me t at the least expectated circumstances! As wat my CGL said, the anoiting comes with a price....especially for our age group since we were so bless to be called twice in different service....I just crossed my fingers, guard my heart and be a GOOD SOLDIER to fight the good fight of FAITH! I learnt from Phil, who says God is boring...we can enjoy with God! hee....I wan to enjoy w God too ! "Take me to the place, where the spirit of God is...Holy Ghost, EMPOWER ME !"

Past few days I was staying w Lucky..He is soooo smelly! Cant stand it...bathe him with nice lather and perfume! Now can hug him and kiss him.....He is so old liao...black fur turning white especially near his mouth...Lao Ah Pek Dog! Hummm will he go to heaven and wait for me in my heavenly dwelling? I wan to have all kinds of cute animals in my house and then I can go diving when I am free with Rebecca in BIKINI! :D I feel so excited when the heaven book mentioned so many 'secrets' about heaven....it is surely a exciting place to be in for eternity...

Lucky came to us in 1994 around christmas...hence he had the same "birthday' as Jesus...He is alreadu 11 years old now.....please let him have a long life...I dont think I can take it if he leave me...Sob sob sob......Everyone says he is ugly but he is an angel to me....Beauty really lies on the hand of the beholder........Lucky...jie jie loves u! :)

Thank You - Joe Pringle

This is a song which touch my heart and marked the beginning of a my chance to live again...as wat pastor said, this is a special song to him and his wife as they nearly died at their early age. But they were healed as they have a special calling to fulfill in their life......

Thank You Jesus for the chance for me to live again too, the unworthy servant of yours, to be able to start life anew ..... I am really thankful for your grace....Please increase my faith daily and obedience and give me a willing heart to sacrifice ........love u......U mean everything to me now Lord!

THANK YOU
(A wonderful n meaningful song to Gerry....remembering Joe's cute face!)

Thank U for the promises U made
For the gift of life U gave
Always I will sing Ur praise

Thank U for the chance to live again
For ur grace that never ends
Always I will sing U praise

Hallelujah (3x)
My beloved King
To U I sing

U mean everything to me!
You're all this world will never be
You're name reigns in my heart
You'r all that I depend on!

Friday the 13! A Joyous Day for me !!

Its a myth to belief that Friday the 13 is the most unlucky day it can ever be. But it proved otherwise to me! It was a joyous day which marked the new chapter of my life! A new beginning and a new life! *POP* Yeah....thats the sound of me opening a bottle of red wine to celebrate the miracle God done for me!!! Toast to FREEDOM>>>>MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE ALL YE PEOPLE!!! HALLELUJAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! MISS Gerry Sim...... :)

Rom 8:28......I hang onto the Promises of God that everything works for the Good for those who are called for His purpose....Thank u Lord for Your mercy and grace! You are really the best love I ever found Lord. I will treasure it .....

13 May 2005 used to be a day which I dread most. But I know he will have everything under His control and I just leave everything to Him. God will honour those who honour him.....I had a mixed feeling when Simon congratulated me yesterday. I am not extremely happy nor distressed about it. I think Terror was also having the same feeling as he did not show signs of excitment at all....Wow this burgar wearing Omega watch! Humk! So rich now hor......Finally we are no longer obligated to each other......

12 May 05 was the last day of Phil Pringle's 3 day Conference. (A day before 'judgement day'. I was glad I decided to attend after brother butter highlighted about catching the anoiting of God. Other things can be done on another day and anoiting is there and then only...I was glad I made the right choice as I was really hungry for God's touch in case my emotions go 'hay-wired' again the next day. But thank God I never even shed any tears at all after the case was closed and I am glad now that it is finally over ! From today onwards, I will no longer shed any tears for Terror but for God alone..... :)

God is faithful, He knows my hunger for the anoiting in the conference. I was VERY VERY excited when Pastor Phil saw the holy spirit descend into the auditorium and the prescence of angels too! Although I did not managed to get the impartation from him, but when Pastor said stretch out your hand if u want to catch the anoiting......I immediately stretched out my hands high up and I felt the Holy Spirit ...I burst out crying (dont care about who is beside me liao! I just want God!) and felt a burning sensation from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet! It was awesome...I just let go and let God do his work in me. I know and I know that God anoited me that very day! Hallelujah ! I pray that I will have more of such encounters in the future! Its amazing!...Its better than seeing the Swedish Cute and Handsome Guy .... :D hee hee (notti Gerry...drooling n gazing....lol....joke la.....he is a young kid only)

Happy Mothers' Day!

Wow today is a very special day for me! Its the day of Holy Communion, Mothers' Day and most importantly is the day where I get my 'reward' for finishing the bible reading for April 05! Hee hee...I am very happy that I managed to finished catching up the reading as I told God I wan to know him more and one of my aims is to complete the whole bible by end of this year! :)

I really wanna thank God for a wonderful time with a few of the members during the swimming and makan session after CG! The few simming sessions had indeed deepen our relationship and love for one another. I hope I can achieve my aim to build true friendship within the CGM this year. I thank God for the wonderful friends and companion! :D We really enjoyed the car trip while going to have Dou Hua and You Tio at Geylang....Yummy....sooooo nice ! Haaa we were "grooving" to the 'hot' music from 91.3FM! hee hee .... we were so havoc and funny!! :P

We had a guest speaker from USA today preaching about the Power of Blessing! Shalom = Everything Ba ka liao peace and blessing! WOW...ooooo......... We are all marked in the spiritual realm that we belong to Jesus! :D No weapon that form against us shall prevail !

Met up with aunt at JP and then proceed to Holland V as a meet up point for all the family members to have our Mother's Day Celebration Dinner at a resturant nearFarrer Road......Hummm......Its really nice that we still have our mum around....better treasure them...but sometimes, i still lost my patient with my mum. :( She is soooo blur and everytime screw things up one le.......I accompanied her to look for our relative's house after she claimed that she knew where it is. BUT we ended up walking up & down 2 blocks of flat around 11pm and she CAN'T REMEMBER which unit it is and she dont even has their telephone number!!!! Yes! That's my mum -_- I just treat it as part of my diet plan from the walking up.......

You reap what u sowed !

My grandpa is so funny. Visited him yesterday at the hospital, he said he saw 4 tigers unleashed at the mountain behind his ward. -_- He also claimed he saw 4 men opposite his bed frying noodles when there is no one there :S LOL........ When asked whether he wanna accept Christ like my grandma, he just kept quiet. He seems to be in deep thoughts. I dont know how to proceed leh......

Next time when we become parents, we must ensure we raise up our kids properly and shower them with lots of love. Many occasions, bad memories were implanted into the kids with bad childhood and resulting their resistance to take care of their ageing parents. So what is wrong and what is right??? Is it wrong for the kids to abandon their abusive parents when they are old? Is it right for parents to misbehave and mistreat their kids?Well, I strongly believe "You reap whatever you sowed". Seen too many real life examples. We are always not in any position to judge anyone for how they handle their thingy as we never know what happened between them last time! But its kinda sad to see this happening in my own family. But everyone makes mistakes! As long as we dont repeat the same mistakes! So why hang onto hurts that was so many years ago? So i choose to sow the seed of being filial and trying very hard to accept Useless slowly.....But he is behaving so unlovable and i need alot of capacity to overcome it......God, help me ! I want to obey your commandments.

I need PEACE please !!!!!!!!!!!!

Why people around me tends to "meddle" on how I am suppose to handle the thingy?? Why is it so that they feel that I can't let him off so easily? Both of us never expect things will ended up this way. And I trust that he is also not feeling good at all. Everyone is speculating about the reasons. I just know that I still trust him until today. He will NEVER do anything that would hurt me. Well...at least when we were together.........as for now? I don't wanna know anymore.

Although I was angry with him before, but fate seems to end already, so why pursue the matter any further? Vengence will never do anyone good.....Today we chatted over the phone, somehow, I feel he is so pitiful and I know he has lots of struggles.....and I wonder should I be doing that at all! He is living in agony alone, without friends by his side and without God. I felt I m so fortunate that I have friends around me when I am down, I can cry out to God for help and healing. But Who can he turn to???? Knowing him, he would bottled up everything inside. This is his biggest hinderance in his life as he can't managed it any longer by his strength...... I feel really sad to see him living in agony and trying so hard to fulfil the agreement. He is struggling too......

Why is my heart soften again??! He was never "soft" when he said that decision and walked away coldly.........How could I ever forget a 10 yr relationship? We used to be such close friends, share alot of common interests and hobbies, it seems like a fairy tale relationship....God! why it has to be ended this way? Do I have to learn the hard way of life? Do I still love him at all? I really don't know........sigh.........

I don't know why whenever I am sad, I will think of MG. How are u??? I am not fine today.........Sob sob sob........but u will never know.........

Gerry teared again listening to "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx.

A bad Labour Day Holiday???

Got a shocking news yesterday nite that my grandpa fell and broke his hip bone. :( He is already soooo old...... Sigh..... Why is the Labour Day holiday so full of bad news? Our beloved ex President also passed away the same day......

My grandpa is already so old.........sigh.......he used to take care of my brother and I when we were young. I feel rather sad to see him so old now. Its kinda sad to see that his old age is not well spent. And I am beginning to wonder why there are christians, who don't even bother to take care of their own parents. They only behave as christians at church. Other than that, they are just the same darkness creatures. They only care for themselves and spending their $ on holidays and not a single cent on their parents........ No wonder God is raising up a new generation to take over the nations by storm.

But being a grand daugther, what can I do? I don't think I am in any position to tell anyone what to do...SIGH...........I just hope I will not be treated this way when I am old......$ is so important! I really hate myself now for quitting my job and now my family need so much $ now for the hospital bills etc etc tec.........ARGHHHH.......I should not have focused too much on my own emotional hurts and forget that I still have my parents and family to support. SIGHHHHHH........STUPID TERROR CAUSED ME ADDITIONAL MISERY ! I had enough bad experiences since young and now some more.....

I just wonder how are we going to squeeze in my grandpa when he discharge from the hospital into our little crampy house ......That useless really turned the house into a garbage shag! I dont even have enough room to house myself, how do we accomodate him. WHY IS LIFE SO TOUGH????????? I wish I am a millionare and i can solve 80% of the problem........

Tiring Labour Day

Today I simply sleep like a pig the whole day. I only managed to wake up at 12noon, watched a movie and fell asleep again after taking my cough medicine. Oink Oink....Piggy Gerry.....Wasting my Labour Day away by sleeping.............

Yesterday was the first record in my life to be in the pool for 5 hours plus (3pm to 8pm!) My skin was all crampled up as 3 of us were waiting for the rest to join us after discipleship. :P I did not managed to reach my target of 12 laps. I managed to finish 10 only. I hope I can complete 20 rounds in one month. The rest of the time is laughing, talking and soaking at the Jacuzzi. I can't forget our Ms beauty face imitating the "self righteous face" ! IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY !!!!!!

Prophecies at CG

I joined the other CG last Friday as I went to visit Lucky last Thursday. He is very old already and it ache my heart that his hearing is failing ...... :(

CG was fantastic last week. During worship, I saw the word 'PATIENT'. God was telling us to be Patient no matter how adverse the situation is, just keep on Praying, He has heard all our prayer. Guess this is the Rhema word that I need to keep it close to my heart. Arigatou! I really enjoyed the session where all of us prophecy for one another. It really edified and encouraged everyone of us. I received a Prophecy that God is HEALING me and He will pour out his Blessing and Goodness on me as he knows that I am very Tired from all those trials.

All of us proceeded to church for the overnight prayer meeting from 11.30pm to 5am. It was awesome as the whole church came together and prayed...A place of AGREEMENT is a place of POWER! The presence of God was awesome although most of us were soooo tired...I wonder why when Holy Spirit touches our heart, we will always tears.....I think I will have a large pool in heaven by storing up all those tears...... :D I dont wan to be a cry baby leh..............I always thought that I am being emotional when I heard testimonies about the Goodness of God. Then after chatting with some brothers, I realised that it was normal as they also teared sometimes...heee heee that means I am normal la...