BLOODY Man = Cant be TRUSTED??

SOB SOB! GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH UNDER TERROR TENURE?

I am amazed that I did not even raise my voice at him. On the other hand, I was calm, just kept mum n hearing him said so many unkind things. Tears just rolled down my cheeks on hearing all those words from him. GOD!!! Why do i have to hear such cruel words from him? Why he cant even speak like a educated sane person anymore? I am very hurt to see him behaving like this. Why has he become such an angry man? I am not the one who did him wrong. But why am i getting such treatment? Do I deserve such rubbish being the victim??!!

Father, the current situation is really 360 degree different from the vision you showed me. :( I really want to give it all up. Please Father......can I give it all up? Gerry is really tired from trying, praying, hurting over n over again....Abba Father!!! Please hold me in your arms and comfort me............I need your love and peace....in Jesus name!

(Gerry singing:
Jesus I give u all, All that I am is yours.
You are my source and my salvation,
nothing compares to you!
All of my days I wan to know you more,
Holy spirit pour down like water, I
'm hungry for your touch,
Each breath i take, i give my all to you! Amen! )

Will I be able to break free from the curse?! Father, I leave every thing in your mighty hands I dont want to be so bother about it anymore. Lord, i am just a simple gal and I wan to lead a simple and happy life. Useless has created a bad childhood, I dont wan to suffer on the 2nd half of my life too. It seems that the more i wanna take charge of it, the situation gets worst!