KEEP FIT..Go Go Go Gerry....

In order to keep fit, some brothers came up with a wonderful idea to lead a healthy lifestyle by excercising every Sunday. Hummm not a bad idea! :D We started our first KEEP FIT session last Sunday at the nice Carribean Condo overlooking at Sentosa ! :) The irony part was few of us actually fell sick after the swimming session, jacuzzi and steam bath. I was down with throat infection since Monday and now i feel feverish....sob sob.....(maybe a person will fall sick lazing around at home too much, ooops).

But we really had a wonderful time laughing and making opportunity to "restore broken" friendship :P hee hee hee. It was a amazing swimming session as it was my first time seeing my friend in BIKINI after knowing her for 18 years !!!!!!!!! AIYOOOO I already know her for sooo long ! faintzzzz

The "bikini" reminded me the crazy thing I did at the Phuket Patong Beach and I wondered whether the guy survived the Tsunami. Hope so....... I really hope I will have a chance to go diving again. My last dive was in Oct 2004 at Phuket with Scuba Cat. Hee hee the dive instructor, dive master and divers are all angmos......hee hee hee .....so it was worth to pay more $ for better quality service. I hope i can go more often when my dear friend finish her Bible School this year. :)

"Miracle" Encounter on MRT

Finally I have the mood to update my diary again after being 'attacked' by some stupid fellow who messed it up.....

21 Apr 05, while I was on the mrt towards church for the final day of the live recording, a wonderful encounter happened. While I was reading the "Heaven is so Real" book, I heard faintly someone spoke into my ears as I was listening to my MP3 player. As I turned my head, I saw a kind looking old man with a gentle smile talking to me. He continued saying that the book I was reading was a wonderful book and it was amazing God always use ordinary people to do extra ordinary work!

I seldom like talking to strangers but his face was full of God's glory and I felt peace talking to him. We began chatting and I was surprised when he said he was a Pastor from Indonesia. He came to SG to administer to some Indonesians and visit his daughter. He would go back Indonesia on Saturday as he needs to preach on Sunday. Wow! I am actually talking to a PASTOR ! He has been a christians for 40 years! ooohhhhh I was not even born yet ! :D

I know its not by chance we met. As we were talking, he showed me a book, "Unbroken Curses" by Rebecca Brown. It is a very good book about hidden curses that must be acknowledge and break it so that we can have the full victorious life as a christian! I believe God must have brought him to me and wan me to read that book. I was very excited as i felt my spirit within me stirring up!

I called up alot of major bookstores and they do not carry the book as it is not distributed locally. Finally I managed to book it online today from USA and the shipment fees costed more than the book itself! :P

I will keep my fingers crossed and wait upon the arrival of the wonderful miracle book!

Blogger attacked by HACKER !!!!!!!!!! ARGGGHHHHHH

I am very TL now as my blog was attacked by 'hacker' with an idiotic name, SCOTT! My inspirations on the "Unbroken Curses" and diary on what happened yesterday were totally messed up & destroyed by this F***er. Gotta bind him! humk ! X_X. To safeguard from hacker again, I gotta changed my blogger address....%(#&@)&@_^)*$

"Heaven is So Real" A miracle Book!

HALLELUJAH!!!!! YES! I finally finished reading the whole book.....yeah ..yeah......I am a slow reader (for those who 'complain' that i took so long to finish the book).... :P This is a book not to be missed. Its worth buying it and read it n you will feel so bless after reading it. I discover so many things about Heaven, Jesus and How we should live as a christian! I think it is another best seller after the Purpose Driven Life.

Christian life consists of two simple things: To Love God, To be Obedient and Pure in the eyes of the Lord. I received a revelation from the Pastor I met yesterday which hit my spirit: "God's promises on you can't be fulfilled UNTIL YOU OBEY HIM!" This confirmed what we learn in Church, We need to make the first move being obedient so that God can move in us and fulfill what was promised to us! I was very glad in my spirit for I know I obey God in the giving and I felt so good as if I have won a battle and celebrating in Victory...hahaaa ..................... :P Its really amazing that you really do feel happy fulfilling God's "instruction" even though that means sacrificing my $ which was meant for the IPOD that I have been eyeing for.

I realised many christians, including myself, have been passively waiting for God to do something in us instead of we obeying in doing something God told us to do so. So this is really something I learnt and will keep on learning :) Always obey and seek Him first! This is basically why God choose Choo Nam to do His End time book. Its because of her obedience, her love for God and consistent prayers! Prayer is really a powerful tool which is given freely to us !

There are also some christians who are so busy serving God which makes them neglected the main purpose of their service. According to the book, this will also hinder God from doing miracles in us! God is looking for us to seek him while serving. He is not happy if we serve in church just to fulfill a duty. Its better not to serve if we cant seek Him first as Jesus said in the book that it will grieve him. The whole purpose of christian living is to be more christ like. God is looking at our heart and attitude, not the serving. :)

The Book also mentioned about the Holy Laughther! While i was reading it yesterday on my way back home from the live recording, I said to myself when can I experience another session of Holy laughther and wonder when is Church having that anoiting again. Its really something that u will desire so much...nothing can describe the feeling!

Well! WELL!! God is really merciful and Good! I miraculously experience another time of Holy laughther at home while worshipping the Lord! I was weeping and laughing at the same time again! Oopss! I just laugh n cried like crazy woman again? I know this is the time I released everything to my God, all the burden, hurts, disappointment etc.....God is healing me! For the bible says that laughther is the best medicine! hee hee hee ..... :D It became a revelation that we can experience Holy Laughther anywhere as long as we hunger for it and ask from God. You WILL receive it !

Thank you Lord for your confirmation for the forgiveness of my sins. I was sooooo sinful and yet u forgive and accepted me again. I will never do that again to hurt u! No more hanky panky! Sorry Lord !

Gerry singing All for Love : How many times, have I broken your heart, Still u forgive, if only I ASK, How many times, have u heard me pray, DRAW NEAR TO ME !!!!!! Everything I need, IS YOU LORD !

Thank you Lord for the great book, pastor on mrt, revelation, the Holy laughther and most importantly, your forgiveness for my sins!! I realise God will bless us in many different ways, not limiting to financial blessing only! I really feel soooooooooOOOOOO BLESS after my giving! I will rather choose to store my treasure in Heaven which is everlasting than to store anything on earth which is temporary......

Lord, I pray everyone of us will hear the Trumpet and be called back to Heaven. No one lord, will be left behind facing the tribulation. I know the time is faster than we expected. Lord, pls protect and guide your little ones......Fill us with all your love and compassion for the lost souls and reach out to those who have not heard of u before......Thank u Jesus.....

Breakthrough?!!

Actually I was quite encourage. I did not even realise I actually have breakthrough until people told me I am stronger and very different from the past! humm.......really? Maybe.....

I used to run away from God when that Devil come and attack me and play around with my emotions. Instead of not turning up in cg, I pressed on.....humm never know this is also breakthru until someone told me.

Today another brother say i got breakthru! Wow really sia? I wanna have breakthru in my 'warriot' aka wallet la ! :P

Gerry dancing with 50cents In DA CLUB...... :D

Praise n Worshop CD Live Recording ~Amazing!

Its really an honour to be part of the church for CD Live Recording. The songs were simply wonderful and the Crossing Over song is simply AMAZING especially when it is accompany with the Strike Force drums.....Its AWESOME !!!!! Pastor specially invited Phil Prinlgle's son, Daniel from Australia, to be the producer of the album. Whhaaa he is soooo handsome! :D But he is married...hee hee heee :(

8 of us rush to the rehearsal on Tues (19 Apr) for the live recording on Wed and thur (20-21 April). It was very tiring for those who are working in the day and need to rush to church for the recording at night. But all this is worthwhile and I simply cant wait for the CD album to be out in July 05 and the DVD in Oct 05. I believe it will be a album that will be Touching Heaven and changing Earth......Wow, Belinda from Media Corps also came for the live recording. She is so sexy and pretty! Her tits are soooo firm and solid...oops....she wear so low cut mah...of course can see loh...

After hesitating & "struggling" with the thoughts of being obedient to do what God told me to do, I finally give in, obey and do it! At first I was wondering whether is it really from God or my own thoughts. But this thing bothers me for soooo long that I keep thinking about it! Until when I finally give in and act on it, then I felt a kind of peace I never felt ever since that 'instruction' was given. The fact was, I GIVE CHEERFULLY. I never even regret it n I feel happy obeying it! I know I have to store treasure in heaven and not on earth. And I believe I will receive my blessing and breakthrough very soon! There will be open heaven : Yeahhhh..........yeahhhh....haaa usher usher!

I SALUTE U, WILDCAT !!! U R My IDOL

I really wanna give Wildcat a big sister hug and SAULTE! Really respect her for her GUTS and COOLNESS!

After Wildcat n Titus read together the "I cant stop thinking abt u, I have feelings for u" sms, Wildcat demanded for the number from Titus. I never expect Titus to be so sly/cunning (watever) and store the gal's name as a guy's name in his hp phone list. hummmm........ Guys can never outsmart a lady :P

The most amazing part is, my dear Wildcat called up the lady the next day morning. (Salute u man!) This phone call proved Titus to be soooooooo despicable! He lied to the gal that he is single with a gf only....PHUI PHUI PHUI (spit saliva) ! I felt stupid thinking maybe the gal was lying because she was shocked by the phone call from a WIFE. But it was confirmed from Titus's sms to wildcat apologizing for his folly acts and his lies about his marial status etc etc etc.......Phiak! (Slap) How can he pretend to be innocent when he was confronted by Wildcat that he is leading an 'astray' life few months ago? Lies without blinking his eye. On the other hand, he accused her from not trusting him!! (Bullshit)

WORLDLY MEN ARE DISGUSTING !!!!

TRUST = A thin red line

It takes YEARS to build on trust but it takes only a split second to BREAK that TRUST!!! Once broken, dont ever think that TRUST can be rebuilt 100% ! There will be cracklines and a paranoid wife........Unless there is true repentance induced by Godly fear. Seems like my blog abt tasting of the 'forbidden fruit' is proven. First dare not, then hesitated, then try a bit, bigger bites, finished the whole things, look for MORE............SSSSOOOOO DISGUSTING!!!!

Why is men such a good actor and liar? They can speak and defend for themselves sooooo weeelllll that woman ends up feeling that he is innocent and we are the guilty ones. Perhaps woman forgives tooo easily and our heart is tooo soft. Just like M&M chocolate. Hard on the outside but melt on the inside. :(

Titus! The "cats were let out" yesterday. It takes 2 hands to clap. How can "infactuation" happened if it is only a one sided story! Do u think Wildcat is 13 yrs old? When u eat the forbidden fruit the first time, Wildcat was heartbroken. She wanted to give up but she wanted to give you another chance. We encouraged her and stood by her advising her not to give up too. But why u did not treasure the opportunity given? I am shocked to know that this is the 3rd different fruits you are eating now! WHAT STORY AND SHAME ON YOU! Dont ever misuse the trust and love of a woman again. U may not have too many opportunity to repent, dear! Both of you are my friends, why it has to end up in this way??? sigh..................

Everyone makes mistakes, but we can't continue making the same mistakes wilfully! Do u think this is LOVE at all ? For me, I learnt my lesson the hard way too! To love a person does not mean to possess him. It may means u have to let him go if he feels happier that way! I just let my One and Only go away peacefully......I do really love him and I miss him like crazy. But I know I can't continue it ! I gotta learn from my mistakes and move on, forgetting the 'love'....... So why cant u also learnt it the first time? sighh.....my fren was soooo hurt n broken now....... Now i can also understand the hurt my mum was feeling many years ago.....and now I think she is also hurt bec of Terror............. sigh...............

Lord, what do we understand from the word 'Relationship' ?
Is there no love that can withstand temptations here on earth?
Does relationship taste sweet only in the first few years and the rest of the years is bullshit and tolerance?
Why sparks can't last longer and understanding seems to disappear ?!
WHY HUMAN DONT TREASURE THE CHANCE THEY WERE GIVEN?!

Man can't refrain from cheating on their wife???

"I can't stop thinking about u!" This looks like a sweet and romantic message between a loving couple. But hey! If this message is meant for ur husband from someone else besides you, it is not sweet nor romantic after all!

I received a call from my best friend while i was on my way back from office around 9.40pm today. I heard nothing from her except her weeping and sad little weak hurt voice. She told me she saw that sms on her husband's handphone.......... :( I felt so sad for her too........I just dont know how to console her, I just listened to her and let her cry on the other side of the phone..........I realised I cant do anything to help her nor make her happy. All I can do was only to pray for her......

Emotions, everyone is struggling wih this simple word but yet a very big word for all to handle it well. Wildcat called me again slightly before 12 midnight crying.........it hurt me so much to see her going thru such a painful process. I dont know why, but I literally felt the pain in my heart for her too!

I just dont understand why men lack so much self discipline and self control? If they cant remain faithful to their wife, why do they even want to consider marriage in the first place?! They dont remember the vow made to each other on that special day? "FORSAKING all others .......etc till DEATH do us part!" Or was it just a process everyone need to do when the time is up or was it a day where life's greatest mistake was made!? The world is really full of hurts and cruel events...I cant imagine how much more wicked can human beings turn into during tribulation. God, forgive me too ............. I can understand now the hurts of a wife when she knows about her husband's betrayal.....I also cannot take it ! So please cleanse and santify me..............I will keep on guarding my hearts from today onwards........

Life is a challenge. How will I end the race?

Good time really flies very fast...my brother and his family had stayed with me for 2 weeks already and I am v sad that they left today. My niece is sssssoooooooo adorable and lovable! Kids are really cute even when they are crying and notti ... :) Love her soooo much still..........I still can recall her cute little 2 yr old voice asking me:"U wan cane?" whhhhhaaaa so cute and notti! Am kinda sad to see them leave today as I will be left alone again after 2 weeks of enjoyment with them. sob....sob...

Past few days were definitely not a very good one for me though. Too many unhappy things happened. Pressures and more pressures from family members. I know they are just concern for me but...........I really dont wan to bother too much over why he made this choice and demand anything from him. They dont know that I had suffered since 1 yr 8mths ago.... Guess life is such that we must learn to let go and move on. Put down the past, bitterness and just move on. Really...no point anymore. I have already submitted all to my Messiah, I am no longer in control of anything now. I just leave it to God. My God will supply all my needs according to his riches and glory in heaven...

15 April 05 (Friday), a day I would never forget. Its a day I heard the most terrible comments made. What good does it made to the person who made the terrible remarks? I am terribly saddened by the incident as I never expected such terrible words to ever come out from his mouth. How come it has turned out to be so ugly? Lord, arent we suppose to be kind to one another? Control his tongue please........ I really dont mean it toooo ....................Went to cg at nite feeling very vulnerable and fragile. I can hardly smile even though i wanna try to be my usual happy Gerry. But .................................sigh..................HURTS !

I was controlling my tears when praise started. When worship session began, tears just rolled down profusely.....really need to soak in God's presence. Every prophecies stirred up my spirit and was deeply encouraged.

Today Pastor shared about a verse from Psalm 73 about praising and worshipping God in moment when it was the hardest for us to praise God. I know God is looking at our attitude. I really hope I can shine for Jesus and bring salvation to my family. When one is save, the whole household will be save! But then, the anoiting will comes with a price tag.....so what is my 'budget' for the anoiting? I dont know, i will just keep on going, keep on moving, keeping on praying and keep on guarding........I dont wan to end the race defeated and ashamed. I wan to fight the good fight of FAITH!

My Last Respect n Farewell to Uncle Shankar (14 Apr 05)

It has been a blessing to know Mr Shankar from ICQ few months back. He was a lonely divorce man who was deeply hurt about his failed marriage and he remained single ever since then. It was about 20 yrs ago I think. Although I have not met him in person, we became 'friends' by chatting occasionally on the net and me checking with him the latest air ticket promotion since he owned a travel agency. He was like a 'father' to me as he had a daugther about the same age as me undergoing similar trials. I know he was saddened about what his daughther is going thru...probably that was the reason why we became "friends". He even extended his help to nurture me to a free lance tour guide.

I received a call from his daugther today and I was very shocked when she informed me that Uncle Shankar had passed away yesterday from heart attack!!! I just 'met' him on the net on wednesday. I dont know why i was extremely sad upon hearing the news even though I have not met Uncle Shankar before. I was lost of words on how to console his daughter........In fact, I was very sad because another soul is gone.............................

Life is really vulnerable. We cant control or forsee what will happened the next moment. We dont even know whether will we be alive the next day. Not everyone is fortunate to have a chance to repent from their past sins on the next day, assuming that they will ever wake up the next day for their confession. So better dont be a procastinator to ask God for his forgiveness of our sins...Always be prepared and live our life ever ready to enter the Kingdom of God.......................

BLOODY Man = Cant be TRUSTED??

SOB SOB! GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH UNDER TERROR TENURE?

I am amazed that I did not even raise my voice at him. On the other hand, I was calm, just kept mum n hearing him said so many unkind things. Tears just rolled down my cheeks on hearing all those words from him. GOD!!! Why do i have to hear such cruel words from him? Why he cant even speak like a educated sane person anymore? I am very hurt to see him behaving like this. Why has he become such an angry man? I am not the one who did him wrong. But why am i getting such treatment? Do I deserve such rubbish being the victim??!!

Father, the current situation is really 360 degree different from the vision you showed me. :( I really want to give it all up. Please Father......can I give it all up? Gerry is really tired from trying, praying, hurting over n over again....Abba Father!!! Please hold me in your arms and comfort me............I need your love and peace....in Jesus name!

(Gerry singing:
Jesus I give u all, All that I am is yours.
You are my source and my salvation,
nothing compares to you!
All of my days I wan to know you more,
Holy spirit pour down like water, I
'm hungry for your touch,
Each breath i take, i give my all to you! Amen! )

Will I be able to break free from the curse?! Father, I leave every thing in your mighty hands I dont want to be so bother about it anymore. Lord, i am just a simple gal and I wan to lead a simple and happy life. Useless has created a bad childhood, I dont wan to suffer on the 2nd half of my life too. It seems that the more i wanna take charge of it, the situation gets worst!

Santification of mind ~Must be very important~

Well sorry Mr blog for not talking to you regularly now. Had a revelation on Sunday Bible Study. Pastor said something that hit my spirit man. He mentioned that if God repeats something a few times (like in the bible, he repeat something 4 times), it must be something Very VERY important!

Sometimes, God has always been talking to me already but I just dont seem to get it bec my 'spiritual frequency' is not being adjusted to the Perfect 7 radio station yet! :S I have been groaning & praying about forgeting the stupid memories before Sy Rogers came. Recently, during service, dont know whether is it conincidence or wat, Pastor has been saying about erasing our memories....another also made the same prayer....we put out hand on our forehead and pray God to erase off our memory! I believe this is not coincidence anymore. God is working something on me too! :) And it must be very IMPORTANT for Gerry to erase her memories too! Of course there are certain things which is not easy to let go, but i know my God understand the emotional thingy is not easy to let go. That's why there is consistent follow up prayer by the Pastors.

Sometimes I wonder why am i a super woman or wonder woman?! I undergo circumstances that would cost me my life easily but yet I am not suffering from any depression and am still survivng well! hmmmm.....quite surprised for my leeching nature ......If God never showed me that verse that time, I may be staying in either Woodbridge or in Hell now. I recalled God always rescue me when I CRIED out to him when I am suffering under Terror reigning. Once in 1999 and another time in 2003. God is really faithful bec the bible says that he will help us in times of trouble and he really did intervened in my case! Its the ungrateful Gerry who chose Terror over God in 1999 after receiving God's mercy and restoration. And I am stupid to subdue to Terror and allow him torture me for another 3 years. Waste my time only...HUMK !

Terror really made my life a complete suffering back then and I am glad that he is suffering now. :P He no longer talks to anyone and not even to his parents nor siblings. He is really a weirdo and suffering from hormones unbalanced, always lost his cool. Chey!

Human is created in three parts too (Tripatriate)!
Body, Soul and Spirit. The soul is the most difficult part to deal with....its our mind, our emotions etc....But I know nothing is impossible with God. I know I am still missing and thinking about something which I should not be thinking at all. But I am trying. Am trying very hard. Its about admitting and submitting and Jesus taking over the Lordship.

I don't know will I ever get rid of the bench mark I set. Wildcat has been scolding me. :( I simply 'compare' anyone I met with Susan again! To me Susan is still the best, the rest simply CANNOT MAKE IT !~ :( I am only bench marking la, not COMPARING la. (oops hee..hee...whats the difference, Gerry?!) I feel that appearance or $ is not important at all. Most importantly is whether do u feel happy, comfortable or whether can u communicate with that person. No one wants to end up going out with someone who can bored u to death even though that person is not your partner?! I just wanna enjoy and laff alot, be happy and thats all.....I am a nun now ma...wont be stupid to fall into the pit of stupid love sufferings again...........Once bitten twice shy, dear! aheee mmm...actually was twice bitten and thrice shy! :D

Blog...Actually I still miss that person alot. I wonder whether he knows that I mean what I said too. I also cant understand why I am so stupid and still miss someone who has forgotten all about me...."photocopy me" hee....so cute...I enjoyed his jokes.

4 kinds of Love ~ which is the most impt?

There are 4 kinds of love, but did Iput the order correctly?
1. Agape = The love of God
2. Storge = Love of family
3. Phileo = Brotherly Love
4. Eros = Sexual Love

I read about the above in the Heaven is so Real Book.....sets me thinking about lots of things. Did i live my life right? Will I be able to hear the trumpet when Jesus is back calling for his brides or will I be left behind to face the tribulation? The tribulation is a terrible environment to survive.....We really must be on our guard and pray our family members will be save soon.....Its scary to know that we dont have much time left......there is really a urgency.....But can I fulfill my destiny? ???

Does man have Hormones too?!?

I thk I really need to take back my words about Terror being the best after all. I dont think he ever will be my best anymore. I am glad that I am already independent and I dont need him anymore. I dont think I ever love him before. I just need him only. So he is right after all....I never even love him ! :( (Is it true, anyway its no longer important)

Its really amazing thati can survive well within this 8 months all by myself. Really thank God for saving me from those shit situation which started about 1 yr 8 mths ago. God's grace is really wonderful...if this never happens, will I ever return to Jesus? I doubt so.....Thank you Jesus for your grace! Please heal me totally from the broken pieces.....................Well I received the healing by faith after sunday's 2pm service!

Been talking to a friend this afternoon. She is an experience gal in relationship :P She told me usually the person who initiated it with be tormented by their guilt. So now I understand why Terror is always in roller coaster hormones. hee but I enjoyed poking and irriates him to make him feel more worst sometimes.... I am a devil too la....

I dont know what is the future after end of this month....I hope it will be done according to His wisdom and His will. Lord, please guide me and let me have all the wisdom to answer the things correctly.....and let it all be settle smoothly.

(Gerry is listening to 'Dont Know much" by Linda Rod and Aaron Nov. I dont know much...But I know I love u.....)

Release out my bitterness.....Oopss...Do I have? -_-|||

Last sunday, Pastor Kong preached about the presence of God. The message was powerful! God really knows what is my need and he will deliver his help at the right moment. He is never too early or too late. I was just writing my blog about men = heartless or cold creature.....a few days ago. Do I really have any resentment or bitterness for men that I didnt even know?!? I don't know. I just know that 90% men cant be trusted at all. They are either perverts or jerks. They all have the same ultimate goal.....They are only going after SEX or ONE NIGHT STAND.....really dirty old men! Only Terror is still the Best after all...............

I wan to be a MUM too! :P

I am feeling soooo bored since friday as I am resting at home after my surgery. Luckily brother butter called me up and wanna meet me for dinner at Compass Point. As usual, the place is jam packed with alot of kiasu Singaporean fighting to find a seat at the food court. Hence we decided to change place and eat at Sakura Restuarant.

Wow! I bumped into my secondary school fren there! She was with her son and husband. Her son, Bryan, was already 7 months old. I remember the last time I saw him, he was only 1 month old. Now he is already SOOOO handsome and cute! haa ..I love him so much....he giggled when I carried him and play with him. Suddenly I have the urge to have my own kids....I really wish to have my own kids..Oops! :)

Man = Cold and Heartless Creature

Sometimes I really wonder can the stupid memories be erase off easily. How I wish when I wake up from my sleep, everything will be forgotten forever. But it does not happen so easily ~ Why is it so that man can take it so easy and forgets everything as if nothing has ever happened before and get on with their life as usual ? Why woman tends to cling onto their feeling, cant forget them and MISS them so much ? Is woman more humane than man ? humm

I feel like I am acting like a total jerk to cling onto the memories of him. I still cant get over him.....I wish time can really help me to forget about him....But its already been close to 3 months, I still cant over him. Honestly, I still MISS HIM SO TERRIBLY !!! (Gerry listening to Back for good~ by Take That) ......My 10G memory is full of OnO ..

I really wonder why man can be so cold and cruel......In one moment, they treat u like precious treasure. The next moment, they dumped u aside like trash....worthless trash! These incidents had again brought me to the lowest pit of "hell"! Oh gosh~~Until I met a wonderful angel, he reminded me that we are created in God's image and no one is ugly. I gotta learn to love myself more and stop condeming about my everything. Hummm.........it makes sense.......I have to learn to love myself, otherwise, I am not trusting God of his creativity :P

Wat a boring Friday after Surgery! :(

Staying at home on a Friday nite can really KILL Gerry! Most of my frens were out without poor Gerry :(. One evil friend still call me and tempted me!:P Instead of saying "hello", the opening speech was "Thumper, Thumper, Thumper!" Arrggghhhhhh.......AIYO! So bored to stay at home....sob sob....I cant drink or do any lancing lancing today...Ouch! Stupid stitches! :(

I was chatting with brother butter over the phone for almost 1 hour today! We were so bo liao, listen to songs, talk 'kok' sing song......Today I cant go drinking, but I am at home cooking phone porridge :P. Glad to know I still have a brother around to keep me company! :) Yo! Bro! Thank u ar! :D

Brother Butter "stumbled" poor Gerry! Induced by him, I began to think and recalled my "exciting" life in Nov 03 - Jan 05. I gave myself excuse to take "MC" from church and began exploring the "world". The worldly tour was indeed enjoyable. I even found someone who eventually became kinda special to me! BUT there is a vast difference between everlasting happiness and the worldly happiness! Behold! Be wise! Go after the everlasting joy that God had promised. No other human can promised u anything! Nothing at all!

Lesson learnt: Worldly enjoyment , no matter how happy you are, it is only TEMPORARY. It will go off very quickly like a ghast of wind and "Bang!" U r left alone feeling empty, broken hearted and discouraged. Worst of all, u r left all alone to face the consequences by yourself. No one is there to help u at all! Human beings are just so selfish ! They are only concern about their own interest and ignoring others' feeling totally! They don't even have any sense of guilt by "washing off their hands" without bothering to give any explanations at all. They just love themselves too much.......sigh...

Isn't it cruel? The world is never kind! It is full of craps!

Somehow, I still miss OnO. I also don't know when my heart was opened for OnO. He is special and I really enjoyed just being with him. He is kinda special and dear to me but yet untouchable! We are just from 2 different world! But at least I know that I am untouchable now. Heart is closed and my objective is to become a NUN :)

I know I cant afford to grieve Jesus again.....He died for my sins....I can't afford to lose the anoiting over worldly things again. Is this the beginning of Godly fear n wisdom? I just hope and pray that I will be ready as a bride when Jesus comes back looking for his brides...... :) I believe it is very soon.....